Change is in the Air

At Carolynn’s Broadway Revue this last weekend the MC, Thomas, said something about how change was in the air and my Mom said, “Change was in the air when Daniel was throwing coins after his wedding.” This is a reference to the musical Once On This Island, and at the end of the play Daniel gets married and, following the tradition of his people, throws coins to the peasants outside his hotel gates. And this is not to be confused with Sense and Sensibility, Carolynn, when the kids run around and yell “Married in the Botts!” and Professor Snape throws coins at his wedding to Rose from Titanic. What an interesting couple. But that is also not the kind of change in the air that we’re talking about. We’re talking about the kind of change where things become different. That kind of change is metaphorically in the air.

A lot of things are happening right now. Carolynn is graduating from high school and going to college at Mesa State University in Grand Junction. Lexi’s life continues to change with the lives of her two babies, especially since one just joined this world a little more than a month ago. Joseph is coming home from his mission soon. Erin is not coming home this summer and has to find a new job. My parents are staying the same in important matters because my father doesn’t handle change very happily. And Jason isn’t changing much now that his growth spurt that lasted the last 2 years has ended right before he grew out of his own skin. I’m not sure how it’s possible to grow so fast.

In my branch, people are going off to school, coming back from school, going on missions, coming home from missions, moving to apartments with cheaper rent or closer locations to where they work, getting married, or joining the army. That’s a lot for my little branch to handle, but it hasn’t reached breaking point yet. I think it’s in good hands with our new presidency.

I like change, as long as it’s happening TO me and not just around me. I’ve been in a single ward for 5 years and watched the influx of people in and out of that ward. It’s crazy that you get to know everyone, then everyone leaves and a handful of people stay, and in the fall a billion new people come in and the ward is completely changed. It’s like in The Wizard of Oz, when Dorthy watches Glinda leave by bubble, soon after watching the Wicked Witch vanish into a trap door of fire and smoke, she says “People come and go so quickly here!” and all the munchkins laugh because it’s true.

Well it is true. Single Wards and branches change every semester. It’s frustrating to be one in a handful of people who stayed year after year. There was a time when I knew every missionary on the missionary wall, not merely by reputation, but because they had left while I was in the ward. That happened for about 3 years. While everyone else was coming and going, I was feeling left behind. I was watching everyone but me accomplish something, or change and decide to do something else, or go somewhere else. It’s hard to watch other people get out of the ward by marriage and graduation, because I wanted those things so badly. I was one of the older girls in the ward, and one that had been there the longest. From my freshmen class, I was one of three who were still there.

I was so excited to get out of Greeley with student teaching. I wanted a change, any change, that would show the other singles that I too was accomplishing something. When I moved to Brighton I was told by a boy (identity with-held) that he thought it was pretty awesome that I was out of college and starting my own career. And it was. I’m so excited to be out of college. It is possible! It’s hard, but it is possible. And I was so excited to get out of Greeley.

Now I’m changing my location again, at first temporarily, then permanently. Well, for a school-year at least. I’m leaving my little Brighton Branch, and I’m leaving Brighton and going back to Greeley. Soon I’ll be leaving Colorado. I love Colorado, but the change is necessary.

Naturally, with change comes some sadness. I am sad about some things. I’m sad to be leaving my branch in Brighton. I kinda feel like it needs me, especially with all the change it’s seeing right now. But someone will come and fill my calling and my role in the ward will go to one person or be split between a few. My friends will make new friends, and hopefully call me sometimes and keep me updated with what’s going on. I’m sad to leave them most of all. I’ll miss night. I’ll miss our heart attacks. I’ll miss hearing about their days and being a part of their lives. I still hope to be part of their lives, but I’ll be a more distant part. The one that they call because they have to kill an hour and they know they can’t just call for 5 minutes because we haven’t talked for a week or two. That kind of friend. I’ll miss making plans with friends from Greeley who live nearby. I’ll miss visiting Jane and the kids I student taught. I’m really sad to be leaving when Jofis is coming home. I told him I’d meet him at the airport with a qudoba burrito. I hope I can keep that promise. I’ll get time off, right? Right. I’ll miss seeing my nephew and niece as often as I do. I already don’t get to see them as often as I would like, even though they’re only 45 minutes from me. I’ll miss running home when I’ve had a bad day or I’m really stressed. I’ll miss going to family birthday dinners and eating birthday cake. I’ll miss a lot more than I can list right now.

Change is in the air, and I’m changing this time too. It’s sad, but a needed and happy change for me. I’m excited to be a teacher, and I’m excited to go someplace new. But I’m sad about what gets left behind. This time it’s not me. I’m not sure if it’s more sad to be the one changing, or the one that isn’t.