Nervous, Excited, or Hungry?

A while ago I was talking to a friend of mine who was going into basic training for the army. He was leaving soon and I asked him if he was nervous or excited to go. He asked why those were his only options, so I said, “oh, sorry, I forgot you’re a boy. Are you nervous, excited, or hungry?”

Last night I went to the Brighton High School Drama awards ceremony, and the seniors said they were nervous and excited. The more I thought about it, I think we’re always nervous and excited about any big change in life. The small things, not so much. For example, I may get excited to eat breakfast because I bought my favorite kind of cereal, or I might be nervous because the milk is past it’s expiration date, but I’m never excited AND nervous to eat breakfast. But when I went to college, I was nervous and excited.

Both of these feelings come because we’re unsure of something in our ‘moving on’ experiences. I wasn’t sure if I would have friends, if I would be successful in my major, if I would get a long with my roommates, if I would have enough money for what I needed or wanted, etc. This unsureness caused both nervous and excited feelings, so I was nervous and excited.

As I talk to people who are making a big change in their life, such as moving away, getting married, transferring to a new school, going on a mission, or joining the army, I ask them if they are nervous or excited. I don’t think I’ve ever asked anyone who didn’t say they felt both. We can feel both because things can go well, and thinking of that makes us excited, or things can go bad, which makes us nervous. We don’t know which way things will go, so we feel both.

Even though we feel nervous and excited, there are more feelings than that, such as hungry. I’ve always heard that we need to listen to our hearts and it will tell us how we feel. Well, I think my heart is broken because I don’t feel things in my heart. I feel them in my stomach. I’m not sure if my heart is lazy or what, but I don’t think I’ve ever felt with my heart. I feel excitement, nervousness, and hunger in my stomach. I also think that’s where my love comes from, not that I’m going to eat someone because I love them, but I feel that I care for someone lower than where my heart is.

At church on Sunday I was sitting next to Carol Atwater and she said something or did something, I don’t remember what it was now, but my stomach lurched and I realized how much I appreciate her and love her. This feeling came from my stomach, and I wasn’t fasting, and I wasn’t hungry. It’s hard to explain. When I feel the Spirit it comes in a stomach lurch of excitement, like you have to ball up your fists and squeal like when you were little and your parents told you that they were taking you to Chuck E. Cheese’s. You don’t have anywhere else for this excitement to go, so you have to squeeze your hands and make a high-pitched whine to keep from exploding. That’s how I feel the spirit. It’s not in my heart. It’s in my stomach.

Many people may say that I don’t have a heart. Well, I feel my pulse, so there’s something doing my hearts job to pump my blood. And my stomach does all the feeling and emotional stuff. Maybe I don’t have a heart. But I’ll love you with all my stomach. Isn’t that bigger than your heart? I have more love to give than people with hearts.