Just Beeee Yourself

Today I was at Carolynn’s last high school concert and they sang “Somebody to Love” originally performed by Queen. Well, in the middle of the song it breaks out into a guitar solo, so the choir air-guitared through the solo. It was funny. But not everyone did it, and she and one of her friends were mad after the concert because of the lack of participation. The people were afraid of looking stupid, so they didn’t join in the fun and just stood there and looked awkwardly at everyone else. Which consequently made them look silly, which is what they were trying to avoid in the first place.

I was thinking about my time in high school as a student, and as a teacher. I’ve had students that don’t commit to something because they think they’ll look silly and they’re worried about what other people will say or think. So they do whatever half-heartedly, and end up looking silly, people talk about them in a negative way, and they become a self-fulfilled prophesy. If they had done it, everyone would either not have noticed them, or admired them for being brave.

One day when I was student teaching, a group of students were practicing for their Thespian Conference scene. Someone from the group came in to get another member of the group, and he refused to go because they were practicing in the big hall where all their classmates could see them. I told this student about UNC in Frasier Hall where everyone rehearsed in the main hall so everyone could see. There are often people in the lawn surrounding the Performing Arts building practicing their scenes, monologues, songs, or warming up. Often passer-by think these people are seriously fighting and feel they need to intervene, or, after checking for a blue-tooth divice and not finding one, consider them crazy. But the PVA students know better. My student said, “that’s cool, Miss Stieber. But that’s college. This is high school where people are judgmental and think being different is a bad thing.”

I don’t think high schoolers think being different is a bad thing. I think everyone makes fun of people who are different because they are jealous that they feel comfortable enough to be themselves despite the fact that they don’t fit in or people might make fun of them. The most popular people in schools are the ones who fit in and make fun of their peers for not wearing the right kind of clothes, or not having the in hairstyle. But the most admired people are the ones who are different and proud to be.

My brother, Joseph, told me about a time when my dad took him and our siblings to school. This was when I was in college and he was a junior or a senior in high school. He didn’t bring a coat and it was a cold day. My dad noticed this and made him take his, a tan trench coat. Now, trench coats are nice for business people and adults, but not for high school boys. Joseph didn’t want to take the coat, but my dad made him, so he did. When he got inside he made his way immediately to the science teacher and asked for a magnifying glass. When his teacher asked why, Joseph gestured to the trench coat, which he was wearing, and said, “are you kidding? Look!” So his teacher gave him a magnifying glass. Joseph walked around pretending that he was intentionally looking like a private eye detective searching for clues in the hall way.

That’s what we need to do. Make the best of our situations. I would have taken that coat off as soon as I entered the school and stashed the coat in my locker. But Joseph decided to make the most of his situation and make everyone notice him and how silly he was, which caused everyone to laugh and think more highly of him than they already had.