Painting the Roses Red!

Tonight at Family Home Evening my friend Joe gave our lesson. He shared the Parable of the Bicycle that tells about a little girl who wants a bicycle. Her father tells her if she saves up all her pennies she'll have enough to get one. So she does. She takes her change jar to her dad and they go to the bike store. She falls in love with one and sees the price tag: More than $100. She begins to cry. Her father asks her how much she has and she replies "sixty-one cents." She is devastated she doesn't have enough. Her father tells her he'll make a deal with her. He asks her to give everything she has, a hug, and a kiss, and he'll make up for what she lacks. She agrees, gives him the money, a hug, and a kiss, and they take the bike home.
The parable is about the Grace of God. He asks that we give everything we can, and that we love Him and keep His Commandments to the best of our ability. We know we must be perfect, but we will never have enough. But He does, and He allows us to use what need to make up for what we can't provide. Yet.
This parable reminds me of another one that I think of. When I was in High School I was in a psychology class. Besides learning and practicing power-napping, the only thing I remember doing was making a collage about what psychology meant to us. While I was flipping through magazines I found an advertisement with a little boy and his father. There was painter's tape and drop clothes, and the father was painting the wall a golden yellow, reaching very high with his roller. Next to him was his maybe three or four year old son. He was looking up at him admiringly and coloring on the un-painted part of the wall with his crayons.
While we look at this image with our earthly minds we see a little boy who is about to be in big trouble!  We got our collages back and I wish I had kept it. I didn't realize how significant this simple advertisement would be to me a few years later. In an Institute Class with Brother Soderburg I realized the meaning I would like to share with you.
The little boy is me. I'm very young and entirely incapable of helping my father paint the wall. But I use the tools I have, my crayons, and do what I can. I'm not an artist or a painter, but I look to my Father and I attempt to be like him. Coloring on the wall is the best I can do right now. My Father sees my effort and He knows I'm doing my best. He knows that I can't do anything else, but he sees that I am trying and giving everything I have with my small ability. So after I've done all I can, He will paint over my marks and make them a piece of His work, He'll make them meaningful and worth while. He will make up for what I lack. That is what The Atonement means to me.

My Thespian Conference Apostrophe...I mean Epiphany

This weekend was Colorado Thespian Conference! It's a huge convention of High School students who have qualified as a Thespian by earning points by what they've been involved with in the after school program. They have the opportunity to participate in Individual Events, (monologues, duet scenes, duet songs, solo songs, mime, improv, & all the kinds of designs), audition for college (many college representatives in the same place with call backs), a Thespian Show audition (directed by a high school director and a variety of students to audition & do tech.), workshops (tech, singing, dancing, acting, and so much more!), 2 mainstage productions (presented by 2 high schools.), and just being around other thespians.
There are workshops for teachers too. I went to two teacher workshops. At the first one some teachers came up to me and told me about how they taught at Adams City for a few years. They said they started there and then went somewhere else. I realized why my program hasn't grown. High school students don't do well with turn over. When a teacher leaves they think it's because they, the students, weren't good enough for the teacher and they've moved on to something better. It hurt my feelings when they said that. I want my program to be like the other schools that I see around me. Greeley West, Brighton, Horizon, Pamona, Thompson Valley, and others like them. I realized when I was talking to those teachers that all these schools have one thing in common: The teachers have been there for more than 15 years. Peggy Freemole has been teaching at GW longer than I've been a live. Jane's been at Brighton for almost 20 years. Their programs didn't start where they are now. They've been built to reach that point by dedicated teachers who stayed through the hard times.
My program is where it is now because the teachers before me have used it as a stepping stone. They haven't built it up because they weren't there long enough to change it. When they left, whatever they had done went back to the way it was or changed to how the new teacher wanted it to be. There wasn't enough consistency for the program to really change and grow.
Believe me, I understand why these teachers left. Adams City High School is a rough place to teach because of the students we have. They don't want to learn. They're not motivated. They're finishing school so they don't have to go to truancy court. They ditch classes to be with their friends and hide in the halls because they don't see the value of getting good grades. The teachers and administrators are trying to help them in any way we can. It's hard because students get lost in the shuffle at school. I have 37-43 students in all of my classes. Most teachers in a 'normal' classroom at ACHS have about 35 in each class. What they need is teachers who know them and they know care about them. We don't have that. Students here see the teachers only as people who make them do a lot of things they don't want to.
Anyway, that was a tangent. What I want to talk about is my program. I want it to be quality theatre. I remember watching Cats at GW and forgetting I was watching a high school production. That takes a lot of effort from me, which I'm already giving, and my students. I also need more help. I can't do it alone. I need to do what one of the retiring teachers said: Find a good tech director and marry them. I want someone to take over my tech. I want my program to grow and require 2 theatre teachers. That would be amazing. I want feeder programs in my middle schools. I want students to want to be involved. I want my program to become a family of people who care about each other and accept everyone. I want other students to not be able to make fun of my students because they're involved in a successful program. I want boys to come and not be accused of being gay and worse things just because they're in theatre.
I was talking to my Uncle Tommy, the acting professor at UNC, and I told him where I was teaching. He said "Good for you! The kids there need you more than any other kids at this conference." I said, "I Know." I know theatre changes kids. It helps them grow into leaders. It helps them relate to people. It gives them real life skills that they can take and apply to anything that they decide to do. It teaches them to work with other people on a common goal. It changes kids.

I Love to See the Temple! and can't wait for the Ft. Collins one!

I couldn't believe my ears today when the Prophet said they were building a temple in Ft. Collins Colorado! When President Monson started talking about temples I thought, "I love this part! Where are they going now?!" I remembered when he announced the Rome, Italy temple. I was in the Greeley Institute and everyone gasped when he said there would be a temple in Italy at the heart of Catholicism Central. That was the day they announced that a Temple would be built in the Greater Kansas City area, which I felt was getting us closer to the Second Coming.
I was surprised when I heard the words "Ft. Collins" leave the Prophets lips and I thought, "there must be another Ft. Collins." Then I heard "Colorado." I am watching conference by myself at home and wished I could be at the Institute where they would surely be having a party! I was so surprised.
I remembered a time when it was Ward Conference in the Greeley University Branch and President Dunn was allowing questions to be asked. Someone asked if he anticipated a temple being built in the Northern Colorado area. I thought "what a stupid question! Of course not! We already have a temple in Colorado and it is barely even an hour away! Why would they build one in Northern Colorado!?!" Well, I guess it wasn't such a dumb question after all.

A New Life

So, it is Spring Break! My district gets 2 weeks for Spring Break, and Week 1 is already half over! I haven't been nearly as productive as I should be, and after I write this post I'm gonna go clean my apartment.

But first, I want to update the World Wide Web about what's going on in my life, since it's not my friend on Facebook.

A long time ago I was studying in The Book of Mormon and was in 1st Nephi. I was reading the part where the Liahona came and Lehi's family was following where it told them to go. It says they named the place "Shazer" which means twisting or intertwining in Hebrew. I felt that my life was "Shazer". It was going all the wrong ways, it took twists and turns and didn't go where I expected it to. I knew where I wanted my path to go, namely I wanted a theatre teaching position and I would go ANYWHERE to get one. so I applied to so many jobs! I wish I had kept track of how many positions I applied to, I would estimate about 50. I heard back from 2 jobs. TWO. And so I interviewed at them and didn't get them. The second one was at Eaton High School, which I thought was the job Heavenly Father prepared for me. It was close to home, family, friends, everything I wanted. Except it was a 1/2 time position and I would be back in Greeley, where I started and have gotten sucked into and locked in for five years. So, maybe it wasn't perfect, but I was pretty sure it was what Heavenly Father had prepared for me and prepared me for. It wasn't. I didn't get the job. That interview was the very end of August, so I thought it was my last hope to get a job before the next school year. I was so upset when the principal called and told me he had chosen someone else.

Then I applied to be a sub. I subbed in the Greeley district. Some days it was fun. I love elementary schools, except for Martinez Elementary, and Winigrad Middle School and P.E. at Heath Middle were good, but other than that, I HATED subbing. I started in October and over Christmas Break I felt like I needed to prepare for something. I didn't know what and decided that I was going to die soon and should prepare for that. In January I was dreading going back to subbing and I yearned for my own classroom and students to teach. I prayed to Heavenly Father. In Romans 8:20 I learned that the Spirit can communicate our feelings to God, so I sent that desire and feeling to him. Later that DAY I got a text message from a friend and former roommate, Lori Dawn Depew, that said "If you or any of your theatre friends are looking for a job, there is an opening in my district!" I got the information and started applying that day, Monday, and finished on Tuesday. On Thursday I got a call from the principal of Falcon Middle School saying that he wanted to interview me the next day. My Mom rearranged her schedule, we went down that night, stayed in a hotel, and went to my interview the next morning. On Monday I was supossed to find out if I got the job or not, but the district had a snow day. The next day, Tuesday, I subbed for my PE teacher at Heath Middle School. On my lunch break I called the school to see if they had hired someone. The secretaries didn't know, so they put me through to the principal, who didn't pick up. I was relieved, but he called me back a few minutes later and told me I was their first choice and that he was waiting to hear back from some of my references. I called my references and at 3:55 I got a call from the District HR representative. I was subbing until 4:05, so I couldn't take the call. She left a message saying that she would leave her office at 4:00 if I could call back before then, or I could call the next morning at 7:00. I called the next morning and she offered me the job.
I had a week and 2 days before I told them I could start. A bunch of little things happened those 9 days and it was a miracle I had a place to live and transportation to get me to and from work every day! I found my path even more "" and I prayed to Heavenly Father, saying, "I know you can perform miracles, and I know you will provide for me. But you're cutting it kind of close this time, aren't you?" He did cut it very close, but he made the deadline, provided me with an apartment I can afford, a car that gets me to where I need to go without costing my left limbs for gas, and a job that could pay my bills and make me a very happy girl.

Teaching middle school has been so fun. I feel like I'm making a difference in my students lives. While no day has been perfect yet and my life continues to be "Shazer", I love every moment of my new life.

I love my students! At the end of school on Friday all the teachers went outside and waved goodbye to the busses as they pulled out. I didn't know about this ritual until I was walking to the office and heard yelling outside. I thought someone had gotten into a fight and went to the window. I understood what was really going on as the last bus left. I was sad because I felt like I didn't get to say goodbye to my students. I finished my trip to the office where I shared my story with Karen, our Administrative Secretary (who, by the way is a miracle worker!). One of the students I have in class was walking thorough and heard my story and very energetically and enthusiastically waved to me and yelled across the office "Bye Miss Stieber!!!!" I wanted to hug him.

In 1 Nephi 11:16 it says about the intwining path: "And we did follow the directions of the ball (the Liahona), which led us in the more fertile parts of the wilderness". My "Shazer" path has been very fertile for me. I learned so much during the time that I didn't have a job and had to sub. I learned that he has a plan for me. His will is more perfect than mine, which is why and how he takes us on the fertile paths. He knows what he's doing, even when all I see is the turns, He is leading me safely through the more fertile paths.

Speaking of Miracles...

yesterday me, both of my brothers and both of my younger sisters were at WalMart doing our Christmas dinner and some last minute gift shopping. We were there for a long time. The first place we went was to the hair-styling aisle to get a straightener for my older sister, Lexi from Jason. Then we went to the clothes to buy her a shirt, also from Jason, where we met my mother. When we were leaving that section a we were walking and a lady says to me while we walk by, "looks like you're having fun!" or something like that. I thought that was kinda wierd, but I said "Thanks!" and kept walking, wondering if she was serious or not. I didn't remember looking happy or looking unhappy, so I was a little curious as to what she meant. We were all around WalMart for the rest of our shopping trip. We went from aisle to aisle in the food section, which was way busy. There were so many people and our family was seperated every once in a while by the bustling shoppers. I saw the lady again in the last place we went before checking out in the chips and Little Debbie area. She didn't say anything to us, but when I saw her she was watching our family, so I smiled at her and went back to my business. We headed to the front of the store to check out and pay for our goods. We found a suprisingly short line of 0 people and got our stuff loaded onto the belt. This woman and a man came and got into line behind us, but I noticed they weren't buying very much, if anything. I felt bad that they were behind us since we had so much stuff and they had so little. As our stuff went through the scanner and most of it was in the basket bagged and ready to be taken home, the couple approached my mom. I didn't hear what they said. Later my mom told me they said they've been very blessed this year and was looking for a family they could help bless. They handed her a WalMart gift card and my mom went to shake the man's hand and he pulled her in for a hug. Then the woman hugged my mom too. She said she was impressed with our family because we were patient the whole time we were shopping and helpful and happy. I remembered seeing this woman pretty close to the beginning of our trip and asked if they had followed us the whole time. She said they had tried, and they thought they had lost us and missed their chance with our family when they found us again. We thanked them with, I hope, a heartfelt and sincerce thanks, then they left. When all of our groceries were scanned my mom gave the cashier the gift card. It had $100 on it. They truly made our day and our season. My mom had been worried about having all the money we needed to get through the next couple of days and the next two weeks. This gift card was a huge blessing to us. That couple were angels in disguise to us and we are all very grateful for their service. It put me in the Christmas Spirit of Giving.

Wonder of Wonder, Miracle of Miracles!

So, you're probably thinking this means that I'm dating someone/getting married. It doesn't have anything to do with that. Sorry....

Last week I was subbing at Heath Middle School and was having lunch in the teachers lounge with a bunch of other teachers. One of the teachers, the choir teacher, was talking about how she doesn't like people saying "Merry Christmas" because she's Jewish and she thinks it's rude for people to assume everyone celebrates Christmas. She says she appreciates the Merry part, but would rather someone just say, "Have a good evening!" or something like that. I guess she has a point, but that's not the point I want to make. The story continues. Someone asked her about Hanukkah and what she did to celebrate it. First I want to share what Hannukkah is, since most/all of my readers are Christians/LDS.

In between the Old and New Testaments there is missing Jewish History found in the Apocrypha, including the story of the first Hanukkah. What happened was that the Jews re-took the temple from the Syrian King Antiochus IV. The temple was cleansed and prepared for dedication. At the dedication the Menorah, a sacred Candelabra, was lit in the Temple. I'm not sure what it symbolizes, probably the presence of Christ/God in the temple, His Holy House. The Menorah only had enough holy (consecrated) oil to burn for one day and night, but it burned for eight days and nights until more holy oil could be gathered. Hanukkah is celebrated to remember this miracle. The Jews celebrate for eight days by lighting one candle on their Menorah's every night, along with gifts and other games and traditions.

Anyway, back to my story. The choir teacher said that she didn't do much to celebrate and that it's mostly for the children. She said it wasn't a big deal because it's just a story for the kiddies, like Santa. She said that it was impossible for one days worth of oil to burn for eight, so it couldn't have happened.

While I'm not Jewish it shouldn't have mattered to me what her views are about Hanukkah, but it made me sad that she thinks this. I believe in miracles and I'm positive that God did allow the oil to burn longer than it should have. At this time the Jews were God's chosen people and they were doing His work. They came back to Jerusalem and rededicated themselves and the temple to God and His work. God was showing them their work was acceptable to Him and that He would again dwell in the temple. I was sad that she didn't have faith in her own history and her God to believe that He could do miracles. She didn't believe that God loved His people enough to perform miracles for them.

It reminded me of Moroni 7:35-38

35 And now, my beloved brethren, if this be the case that these things are true which I have spoken unto you [answered the ends of the law, and he claimeth all those who have faith in him, and advocateth the cause of the children of men; and he dwelleth eternally in the heavens and ascended to Heave to take His place next to The Father], and God will show unto you, with power and great glory at the last day, that they are true, and if they are true has the day of miracles ceased? 
36 Or have angels ceased to appear unto the children of men? Or has he witheld the power of the Holy Ghost from them? Or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man upon the face thereof to be saved?

37 Behold I say unto you, Nay; for it is by faith that miracles are wrought; and it is by faith that angels appear and minister unto men; wherefore, if these things have ceased wo be unto the children of men, for it is because of unbelief, and all is vain.

38 For no man can be saved, according to the words of Christ, save they shall have faith in his name; wherefore, if these things have ceased, then has faith ceased also; and awful is the state of man, for they are as though there had been no redemption made.

So, Miracles have not only existed, they don't cease to exist. Because some of His children have faith. If you don't see miracles in your life, you're living incorrectly and you lack the faith to have miracles exist. Or you lack the wisdom to see them. God still loves us. He always will. He will never give up on us. He desires to bless us with miracles in our lives. He's granted miracles in my life, and not a few. Quite a lot, actually. And He will continue to do so.

The Joy From the Eye-Balls of Children

I love little children. They are hilarious. I love to spend time with kids because they remind me that we can find joy anywhere.

While I am looking forward to teaching high school, I really love subbing for elementary students. I subbed for a kindergartn class last Monday and Tuesday. They were so cute! There was one that was barely taller than my knee-caps. They were so excited to learn and show how smart they are. They loved giving hugs, even to me who they hadn't known longer than 12 hours.
There were a few times with my literacy group (they're learning their ABC's, the sounds of letters, and putting letters/sound together to form words) I wanted them to listen to some directions, but I wanted to make sure everyone was listening. I told them I would know when they were ready if I could see their eye-balls. They had no idea what an eye-ball was, so I had to explain. They thought that was pretty funny, and while I talked some of them tried to make their eyes as big as possible so I could see their 'entire' eyeball.
When I picked them up from lunch recess I found a lady bug. I picked it up and took it inside and the kids came and crowded around me and looked at the lady bug. Some of them had never seen a lady bug before. They were so excited about this lady bug, even though it was just a bug. One of them told me I needed to take her outside because someone on TV said that we should leave animals in their homes. When we were about to take her outside, the lady bug flew to the ceiling. I told them the lady bug knew we were going to take it outside, but it wanted to stay in the classroom to learn and be with them. They were worried she would starve and at snack time one of them left a peice of their pear on the desk for her so she wouldn't die over thanksgiving break.
The kids were so loving to everyone. I asked them on the second day if they were glad I was back. They thought and one said, "We like Mrs. Ballard, but we're glad you're here!" The others agreed. I got hugs all day long and they were so excited to tell me everything that they did the weekend before, the night in between, what they were doing for Thanksgiving, and one kept telling me about a carnival that I would guess was the Greeley Stampede at the beginning of July. They were so excited to share with me; crayons, pencils, erasers, rocks, pictures, and anything else. They told me that I colored beautifully, that I sang beautifully, and that I was beautiful.
We read a Thanksgiving book about a little girl and her mommy. The little girl was asking her mom what she was most thankful for. Her mom told her to guess, so she got the photo album and looked through it. She guessed her camping trips, her talent show when she was younger, her soccer games, her wedding, and other things, but her mom kept telling her that even if those things were better, they wouldn't be her most thankful thing. The girl got to the part where she was born and her mom said that was her most thankful thing, the daughter. After the book was over I asked them who thought they were their parents most thankful thing. They all raised their hands. I'm sure, and I hope, they are.
I've been thinking about being like a child. They are so excited to learn new things. They are so kind and loving, and they are just so happy. I want to see things with the eye-balls of kindergartners forever. I want to see rocks with fun shapes and be happy. I want to see a lady bug and share food with it so it won't starve. I want to share with others and feel glad and not bitter or worried I wouldn't get it back. I want to make people feel good about themselves. I want to make other people happy.